Do the Birds Envy the River?

The rocks get worn away;

Want what they can’t have.

Reflected in it’s waters

My mirror face goes blank.

 

The point isn’t to be

The faces we meet.

I’m a person, not a river

as it rushes to the sea.

 

 

Free writing:

Sometimes I find the difference between who I am when I’m alone and the variety of faces I use around others is unsettlingly different. I worry sometimes I’m just a mirror, reflecting the personality of whoever I’m with. When I’m alone I struggle for clarity, my mirror face goes blank. I turn around and around looking for answers to who I am, perhaps an amalgamation of everyone I’ve ever met, but never a person that feels…. mine, or original. Maybe we’re all combinations of the faces we meet; that the point isn’t to be individual because it’s impossible, but to be a combination, what you discern to be the best parts of others and to construct your own persona. A persona that is malleable? Flexible? Tailor made to fit a situation or another face it is opposed with. Maybe your personality should be the water in the river, not the rocks sitting resolutely on the bottom. The rocks get worn away, becoming littler and less significant. The river grows as it rushes to the sea, and though parts get lost and left behind ultimately it grows. A sweet metaphor. But rivers can get damned. Their course is changed suddenly by outside influence. They ultimately do not choose their own direction. Their course to the sea- , although meandering, pre determined. I don’t want to seem pessimistic but perhaps I no longer want to be a river. Too much is out of my control. I’m too young and volatile to say I accept that. Too hot and bubbling to be calm. I damage too much in my effort to understand. Play the victim sometimes. Need to be the one who’s right; the one who’s in control. Does the river envy the birds reflected in it’s waters? Do the birds envy the sureness of the river? It’s power and resoluteness. I think I just want to be everything. I can’t choose. I’m a person, not a river, and people want what they can’t have.

 

Writing in response to the writing prompt, Tailor.

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